Because They Needed It. And Because ... #BeccaToldMeTo

I’m the type of person who tries to do random acts of kindness (or RAOKs) on a regular basis.  Whether it be simply holding the door open for someone with a smile, giving a friend a ride to the store, or buying a sandwich for the homeless guy on the corner.

It doesn’t have to be anything 'BIG', or expensive, but I do try to live my life helping others when I can.

It's all about good karma!😀

I know what it’s like to need help.  I know what it’s like to be given help, and I also know the sting of being denied help, so when I can, I help others.

And while I don’t necessarily go out each day looking for specific RAOKs to do, sometimes they just fall in my lap, and when they do, I run with them, or roll with the RAOK.

Even more so since I heard about #BeccaToldMeTo a couple of months ago.

Not familiar with #BeccaToldMeTo?  Google it after you finish this.

Friday on my way home from work, I heard on the radio that a woman had given birth to a baby in the bathroom of the Superstore that afternoon.

WOW, I thought!  That must have been quite the experience for Mom, staff and customers, but I didn’t think much else about it once the news was over.

Saturday morning I slept in and spent a lazy late morning/early afternoon scrolling through Facebook with my cup of coffee.

One of the first posts I saw was from a woman who lives on my street.

She was posting in the ‘Buy & Sell” about the woman who had the baby in the store the previous day. New Mama is this poster’s family member.

Turns out, not only was the baby not expected that day, at that time, the baby wasn’t expected … at all.

The woman had no idea she was pregnant, no idea she was giving birth until she went into the bathroom, and there he was ... ready to make his appearance.

Now, before you all get all, ‘HOW could she not know she was pregnant?!?!?!?’ on me … take a deep breath … it happens.

Statistically it doesn’t happy often, but it DOES happen. 

They have a 10 month old baby girl at home. YUP.  This couple JUST had a baby 10 months ago. 

Maybe she had periods during the past months, or maybe her body never felt the same again after having the first baby.

Apparently the new baby was sitting behind the placenta. When that happens, an expectant mother won't necessarily feel the kicks and movement as other women do. 

I don't know this woman personally, but I do know that after delivering a baby (only 10 months ago), A LOT went on with her body.

A LOT goes on physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually after a woman gives birth. 

• Maybe she had a bit of postpartum.
• Maybe she hadn't lost the baby weight from the first one, so wouldn't notice weight gain.
• Maybe she showed no signs of morning sickness or other symptoms. 
• Maybe stress/fear/denial. 

Who knows why she didn’t know? I don't.

I only know it's NOT our place to question. Or judge.

It's not our place to leave nasty comments on social media sites about it. 

It DOES happen. A baby boy arrived into this world. 

Our job as compassionate human beings is simply to wish them the best or say nothing at all. 

And that's all I have to say about that.

So … back to this Saturday post.  I see the family member on my street posting that because this little guy was unexpected, they have NOTHING for him. 

No crib, no car seat, no diapers, no essentials. 

Nothing. 

I felt bad when I read her post.  I felt bad for the Mama, because I’m sure she must be in shock, along with everything else she’s feeling. 

I felt bad for them as parents, having to scramble to find EVERYTHING for a new baby. 

Yes, I felt bad, but since mine are now 17 and 21yrs old, I had nothing to offer them.  So I closed Facebook. 

The next thing I did was check my email. 

And that’s when fate stepped in. 

The first message I saw was from a gentleman on Freecycle, who was giving away … BABY STUFF! 

I messaged him right away and told him if he still had the items, I wanted to pick them up that afternoon. 

What was originally on my to-do list for that day?  Cleaning my house and getting groceries. 

Instead, I went to this man’s house and picked up a diaper genie, outdoor swing, books, car seat inserts, a child’s laundry basket, potty seat (remember 10mth at home already), a toy and stuffy for the crib that plays music and a whole slew of giant foam blocks for the floor. 

I brought everything home and washed it up. 

Then I went shopping.  Because although I was happy to take all those items off his hands that both children could use, they weren’t really necessities, aside from maybe the Diaper Genie.

I bought diapers (not the newborn, because I figured everyone else would get newborn, so I went for the NEXT size up since baby would need diapers as he grows), a re-fill for the Diaper Genie, wipes and refills, shampoo/body wash, nighttime bath soap, butt cream, Vaseline, baby thermometer, rattle/toy, soothers, bottles (since I wasn’t sure if she was going to breast or bottle feed, I got a few just in case).

And baby crackers for the 10mo old.  Because with all this excitement about a new baby, I didn’t want the little girl to feel left out.

For Mama, I picked up a few bottles of nail polish (for when she's ready to think about doing them again), some Lindor chocolate, and a Tim Hortons gift card, because I figured both new parents could use the coffee. 

And in Mama’s bag?  I also included a #BeccaToldMeTo card. 

Then … I sent an email to the woman on my street to confirm that she would be home, loaded up my car with ‘baby stuff’ and headed over to her place. 

The only thing that needs to be said, is that they were appreciative.   

Very VERY appreciative. 


But that’s not the end of the story.

Oh NO, my friends.  Because what I’ve learned is that kindness brings about MORE kindness and that’s exactly what happened next.



When I left the woman’s house, I went to my corner store, where I stop every day.

When the owner asked me how my day was going, I told him.  I felt really good about dropping off all that stuff.

Those parents needed everything.  I hadn’t even scratched the surface of what they needed, but I was glad I did what I could.

I told him a bit about what I had done that afternoon, and the next thing I knew, he reached into his pocket, pulled out a $50 bill and asked me to give it to the family.

I couldn’t believe it.

He told me he’d had a rough day, and wanted to do something nice for someone else.

I was overwhelmed.

Kindness brings about more kindness, people.  I believe it.

I left the store, returned to the woman’s house and gave her the money.  When I told her who it was from, she cried.  I cried.  It was a moment.

But isn’t that what life is all about?

Moments. 



Later that night, when telling one of my sons what I had done, he asked (not unkindly, more out of curiousity), ‘Why did you do that?  Why did you go and spend money on someone you don’t know, when you’re complaining that our power bill spiked by $1000 last month?’.

I explained to him that the power will get sorted out (because there's NO WAY our bill jumped to $1400 for Mar & Apr, from $400 in Jan & Feb.) but a baby boy just came into this world with absolutely nothing, to parents who are probably feeling very overwhelmed at the moment. 

And that small amount I spent on the baby wouldn’t put a dent in the power, but it might make a difference to those parents, at least for the first few days until they get everything sorted out.

I did it because they needed it.

That's what I wanted him to get.

When you can help someone, if you can help someone, you do.

Then as I waked out of his room, I turned around at the door and said with a smile, 'And because #BeccaToldMeTo '.



Why am I sharing all this with you?

Some may think it's to pat myself on the back.  But they'd be wrong.

I don't always tell people about the random acts of kindness I do.

Sometimes I do, like in THIS POST about the homeless guy I ran into a couple of years ago.

But most days, I don't.

No, I occasionally do share these stories with you, because if ONE person makes the choice to be kind to someone after reading this, then THAT'S what makes me feel good.

I will have influenced someone to consciously do something nice for another person.

That's good karma.  For all.



That night I received a message from the woman on my street, thanking me again for what I had done.  Along with some very kind words, she ended it with, 'We will all do things now because #beccatoldmeto."

And that's why I do what I do.

Spreadin' the love, people, spreadin' the love.



Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go recharge & replenish my kindness dispenser.

I'm going to need every ounce of kindness, goodwill and patience I can get, when I have to talk to the customer service rep about that mother f*$#'in power bill!  UGH!

Breathe, Kim.  Breathe.



Oh, and don't forget, if you haven't done so already, make sure to google #BeccaToldMeTo.

And then go, do something nice for someone.

It'll make ya feel good.  Promise. 

K.  

That Bitch Who Ratted On A Kid

Today I had my morality tested.

You’re walking through the grocery store.  You’re behind a Mama and her little girl.

All of a sudden, the little girl’s hand shoots out, and the Easter Cream Egg flies into the pocket, like lightening.

Mama sees nothing.

Do you tell the mother?



I struggled with this.  I really really REALLY struggled with this.

Do I say something … and most likely upset the little girl, and possibly the mother?

Or do I say nothing at all, and mind my own business … and not be the bitchy lady who snitched on a kid.

Not the little girl from the store. Pic taken from HERE.

I was on my way to the self-checkout when I saw this happen.

Instead, I turned and wandered down a random aisle, just thinking about what I was going to do, if anything.

Would I want to know if someone saw one of my kids take something from a store?

Yes, I’d want to know, but … GAH!  What to do!?!?!?!?!?



So I made a deal with myself.  If I saw the mother again, I’d tell her.

I rounded the corner and there she was.

And all I did was watch as she looked down at her daughter, and ran a hand over her hair, stopping at her forehead, as if feeling for a fever.

I walked by them.

I didn’t say anything.

But, I noticed the little girl still had her hand firmly in her pocket.

I continued on to the self-checkout.



I won’t lie.  It nagged at me.

What kind of person am I, if I’m always preaching to my kids to be ‘good people’, if I let someone, yes even a 4yr old child, steal and say nothing.

I’d be a hypocrite.

I don’t want to be a hypocrite.



So with a heavy heart, I turned around again, and went off to find Mama.

She was on her way to the checkout when I walked up beside her and said almost in one breath, "Excuse me, I’m having a moral dilemma that I’ve been struggling with, but I’ve decided to tell you.  I think you might want to check your daughter’s pocket for an Easter Cream Egg.  I’m SO sorry, I wasn’t sure if I should say something or not, but as a Mom, I know I’d want to know.” 

She quickly looked down at her little girl and asked about the egg.  The little girl looked back up at her Mama with eyes huge as saucers, and shook her head, nooooo, ‘Nothing in my pocket!’, as her hand clutched her little treasure that was hiding in there.

Mama looked at me and said, ‘Thank you for telling me.’

I left her as she was trying to coax the truth out of her child, and went to pay for my things.



But I couldn’t let it go.

I felt like such a Bitch for ratting on a kid.

I know morally I did the right thing, but it felt wrong.

So I looked behind me, found Mama in the lineup a few rows over, finished my transaction and then ran back through the store … to the Easter Cream Eggs.

I made it back through the self-checkout with the egg, before Mama finished paying for her order.



I walked over to their cash.

Little girl was sitting on the floor next to their cart, her cheeks still wet with tears.

I looked at Mama, held up my bag with the Easter Cream Egg and mouthed the words, ‘I got her an egg’. 

She thanked me again, and I explained why I felt the need to buy the egg, then I crouched down on the floor, and had a heart to heart with the little girl.

I told her I was very sorry for having gotten in her in trouble, but that we can’t just take things from stores without paying for them first, because that’s stealing and stealing is wrong.

I told her it was because I felt bad for getting her in trouble, that’s why I bought her the egg.  But also, that Mommy needs to know these things, and next time, I wanted her to ask Mommy for the treat she wanted. Mommy might say yes, and she might say no, but the RIGHT thing to do is ask first.

Then I gave her the bag with the egg, and the receipt.



So yes, she got the egg in the end.

Was I right in telling Mama? Was I right in buying the egg for the little girl?

I don’t know, and I don’t know.

I did what felt right at the time.

I’m a mother.  I’d want to know if my child had taken something they (or I) hadn’t paid for.

On the flip side, I didn’t like being that Bitch who ratted on a kid.

I just hope the whole experience made enough of an impression on her, that she’ll think twice about snatching that next treat, which is what I was going for. 



Or, in 10yrs time, I'll find Easter Cream Eggs on my house at Halloween.

Who knows?

Life's a crapshoot that way.


K.

It Was Enough

The other night the 20yr old and his girlfriend were in the kitchen making dinner, and I was roaming around, doing this and that on the outskirts when I overheard … ‘We had so much fun when we were kids!’.

I know he didn’t realize it, but as a single parent for all these years, one who worried so much about ‘enough’ …

               Do I read enough?

               Do I play enough?

               Do I teach enough?

               Do I laugh enough?

               Do I discipline enough?

               Do I nurture enough?
               Do they have enough?

… never ending enough, what he didn’t realize was how much those simple words, ‘We had so much fun when we were kids!’, made me stop in my tracks, filled my heart, and made me smile.

Hearing your now-grown-up boy say that he had a happy childhood, and that he had fun growing up, is something every parent (I would hope) strives to achieve. 

Yes, you want your kids to do well in life, to be good people, and hopefully turn out to be awesome adults. 

But it’s also a good feeling to know that they were happy, and had a good time getting to wherever they may be today.

So I guess, whatever I did, it was ... enough.


K.

Storm Chips. MacGyvered Muffins. And Pie

I really can't complain about our winter so far, because it hasn't been all that bad.

Yet.

Sure, we've had days that have been biting cold, and snowy conditions that made driving slow and/or a bit crazy.

But no real 'blizzard-like' conditions.  Yet.

That all changed last night when we came under a possible 25-70cm snowfall advisory.

Today, we have our blizzard.

 
There is a relatively new phenomena here in the Maritimes.  One that calls for people to prepare for an upcoming storm by putting gas in the snow blower, setting the shovel within easy reach, having candles at the ready, and ... buying their 'storm chips'.

Yes, storm chips.  It's a thing.

Pic taken from HERE

 
It's a thriving business for New Brunswick's Covered Bridge Potato Chips!


So with the upcoming snow forecast for today, I along with many others stocked up on my favourite chips (Sorry, Covered Bridge, not specifically Storm Chips).

Given that this is expected to be a 'big one', and everyone will be home, I wanted to have more on hand besides just chips.

Yes, I have 'real' food and fruits and veggies, but I'm talking 'storm snacks'.

And I knew just what I wanted.


A few weeks ago, I tried a muffin at Tim Hortons I really liked, and thought to myself, *I* could make this!

No, I don't profess to be a fantastic baker, but the concept seemed pretty simple.

It was a chocolate muffin, with chocolate pudding in the middle, and chocolate chunks on the top.


I picked up a chocolate fudge cake mix in order to make the muffins, as well as a box of chocolate pudding.

But having never done this before, I had no idea how I was going to get the pudding into the muffin.

How DO they get the caramilk inside the Caramilk bar?

And then ... it hit me.  

A way to MacGyver it!


I stopped at the pharmacy, and asked for a small syringe that is used for administering liquid medicine to infants.

They gave me this.

Perfect. Exactly what I was looking for.


I started by making the chocolate fudge muffins.

Then made the chocolate pudding.

I made a small hole in each of the muffins with a toothpick then I sucked the pudding into the syringe, and squirted it into the small hole. 

Finally, instead of adding chocolate pieces on top, I added chocolate icing, and a variety of toppings from walnuts, sprinkles, and cinnamon hearts.

GAH!  They looked good!

The TRUE test was going to be the inside. Did the pudding actually get in there?


YES!  SUCCESS!!!  Not bad for a MacGyver move!

Since chips and to-die-for chocolate pudding explosion MacGyvered muffins are sort of junk food-ish, I figured I'd make something healthy also.

Apple pie.

I have  no idea how much snow we'll end up getting by the end of this, as it started just after midnight, and doesn't show any signs of stopping yet!

So, like most people, I've got my storm chips.  

And MacGyvered Muffins.  

And pie.


And, of course, ice cream is in the freezer.

I'm ready, Mother Nature.

Bring it.

K.