I read Ginny's latest post over at Praying to Darwin last night, about a little boy living in a dangerous situation, and how he should be removed.
As these 'children in danger' stories often do, it got me thinking, once again, of little James Bulger.
Anyone remember him?
He was two years old when he was heinously murdered by two 10yr old boys in the UK.
That was 15yrs ago.
I still think about him now and then.
I also sometimes wonder whatever happened to those two 10yr old boys, who first tortured then killed him.
15yrs is a long time ago.
1993. I wasn't even married yet, certainly had no kids of my own, but the story of James Bulger bothered me, a lot.
And a lot has happened in 15yrs. I've been married, divorced, and now have two beautiful boys of my own. One two years older, one two years younger than the murderers.
But I still think of Jamey now and then. And his Mom.
And remember the line I read in so many newspaper and online accounts at the time, the one I had to push out of my head when trying to get to sleep - " ... stopping to torture him along the way. The whole time, Jamey was crying for his Mum."
And in those moments, my stomach clenches, my heart wrenches and the tears flow.
Even more so AFTER I became a mom.
Because of Jamey Bulger ... or I guess because of Jon Venables and Robert Thompson, his murderers, not only have I always had a small fear of some big monster harming my child, there has also been a small part of me, that has feared the LITTLE monsters too.
Those little monsters are all grown up now.
Where are they?
Do they remember - EVERY DAY - what they did to that poor little boy? Do they choose NOT to think about it? Have they blocked it out completely?
Do they hear his screams and pleas for his mother in their dreams?
Are they sorry?
I'm a complete stranger, and that one line haunts me. The whole time, Jamey was crying for his Mum.
I can't even imagine what it's done to his mother. How she 'went on' after losing her son that way. Knowing what those boys did to him. Knowing he called for her, and she wasn't there.
Yeah, kills me. As a human being. As a Mom.
You can read the story in James' Mom's own words, what happened that day, and how she's coped since, in this 2007 interview.
And where are THEY now? The two 10yr old boys, who were the youngest people in Britain to be convicted of murder in 250 years.
Did they get married?
Do they have families of their own? Are they upstanding members of their communities, living anonymously among their friends. Or did they manage to find themselves back on a cell block somewhere?
Do they have kids?
I've read that James' mom hasn't forgiven them. Still hates them.
Can't say as I blame her.
Forgiveness. I've had it for many who don’t deserve it. But I will NEVER find it in my heart to understand or forgive Jon Venables or Robert Thompson for how they tortured and murdered that defenseless two year old little boy.
And I doubt I will ever forget James Bulger. And I hug my boys just a little harder sometimes, hold them just a little longer, because of him.
***** UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE *****
Please, PLEASE do not comment or send me messages with names and locations of men you think are one of the 'Bulger Killers'.
I will NOT publish these.
I think what these boys did was horrific, but I will NOT be responsible for their lynching as adults.
Or worse, it resulting in someone completely innocent getting hurt because of it, for whatever reason.
Not going to happen.