Wednesday, August 10, 2011

You Are An Unfit Mother!

'You are an unfit mother!'

You. Are. An. UNFIT. Mother!

Those are VERY strong words.

They are the type of words that can change a world forever.

Many times, justifiably so.

Sometimes, not at all.

If someone accuses you of being an unfit mother, no matter WHO it is, no matter how good you believe your parenting skills are, it rocks you.

Regardless if you know the only reason these words were said, is because the person saying them is unhappy with themselves, and their own situation, it rocks you.

Despite the fact you KNOW, with every fiber of your being, that every major decision, every life move you make, is ultimately for your kids and their well being … IT ROCKS YOU!

The words ‘you are an unfit mother’, when acted upon, will open doors that can’t be easily closed.

Those words invite strangers, and yes, chaos & turmoil, into the lives of everyone involved.

Even if those damaging words aren’t true … if that door is officially opened … they have to be investigated.

Regardless of WHY they were said, or the true meaning behind them, YOU must be investigated.

For some mothers, this is simply a way of life.

Have children. Have them taken away.

And again, in some cases, rightfully so.

For some mothers, for whom this claim has no merit, something like this can be seen as an inconvenience.

For some mothers, an untrue accusation like this is simply devastating.

Because, despite the fact you may have done everything with the best of intentions, and provided for your kids as best you could with what you had ... for many years ... initially, it doesn't matter.

Somebody made the claim you are not fit to raise your children.

You are now a case.

To be investigated.

If the statement, ‘You are an unfit mother’, is a VALID claim, then by all means, you SHOULD be investigated, and potentially have your children removed from your home and care.

However, if the damaging statement is made simply out of inaccurate facts or assumptions, anger/hatred, or intentional harassment, it’s a whole different ballgame.

Yes, in the end, a mother with nothing to fear will throw her shoulders back, open her front door wide and invite the nice Children's Services lady inside for an afternoon of friendly interrogation and scrutiny.

But ... should that mother, and possibly her children, be forced to go through that type of intrusion and scrutinization, all because of a false claim?

Being a blogger as long as I have, I know how powerful our words are.

They can entertain, inform, and heal, but they can also hurt.

And the wrong words, said to the wrong (or right) people, can initiate devastation and destruction in the lives of innocent people.

‘You are an unfit mother’
, is a VERY powerful sentence.

Stan Lee was right on the money, as it applies to SO MUCH in life, when he had Uncle Ben say, ‘With great power comes great responsibility.

Before you throw around words that could change someone’s life, powerful words such as, ‘You are an unfit mother’, you should think VERY long and hard about whether or not you are ready to accept responsibility for having set the ‘investigative wheels’ in motion.

if, in fact, the statement is NOT true.

Words ARE power.

They CAN'T be taken back.

Use them wisely, People.

Especially, when you’re potentially playing with people’s lives.

I don't want anyone to jump to the conclusion that this post was written specifically about my parenting skills in particular.

Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't.

It could, in fact, be referring to more than one woman I know.

Point is, it was written to serve as a reminder, or perhaps an introduction for some, as to what can actually happen when inaccurate, hurtful words such as these are spewed in anger.

They CAN'T be taken back once they're out there and DO cause some form of chaos and pain.