Thursday, April 21, 2011


*** WARNING!!! ***

This particular post DOES contain a few swear/curse words.
If these types of expressions offend you, you might want to leave.

I try not to swear in front of the boys.

I'm not always successful.

When I do curse, I attempt to keep it to 'damn', or 'shit', unless the boys aren't around.

Then? Sometimes, I curse like a sailor! Just because I CAN!

One of my funniest memories of Adam, is when he was only a couple of years old.

He was standing in the kitchen, and he dropped something, and stomped his little foot while letting out a 'SHIT!' at the same time.

PERFECT imitation of Mama!

No, not exactly something I WANTED my 2yr old saying, but I DID see the humour in it.

Growing up, my dad was never one to drop the F-Bomb around the house.

He found both that, and the 'c-word' too crude.

We're catholic.

He was more of a 'God Damnit!' or 'Jesus Christ!' man.

Some may think those are WORSE than the F-Bomb, but in my personal opinion, nothing releases more stress, carries more OOMPH, more shock factor, than a big 'ol heartfelt FUCK!

And apparently, there's been a nobel prize given to the researchers who have studied the fact that letting out a big 'ol curse can effect pain tolerance and heartrate.

Go figure.

Of course, as far as the boys are concerned, there is to be NO swearing.

Although, I'm not completely naive.

They're fifteen and eleven. I know when they're with their friends, they're going to swear.

Kids want to swear, because they're not supposed to swear.

However, there's a time and a place, and anytime there are ANY other persons around, other than their immediate friends, it is NOT the place.


Instead, I've always tried to get them to use 'substitute' words.

Like, 'sugar'. Or 'darn'. Or 'fudge'

The obvious ones.

Then ... there are the not so obvious ...

The other day, Adam asked if he could show me a video.

One that he and his friend had 'stumbled' across on YouTube.

When I asked what kind of video it was, he said ...

'Well, ya know how I'm not allowed to swear? I saw this and thought maybe it could work for ME!'

So I told him, 'Hit play and let me see ...'

This is what he showed me ....

I haven't yet decided how I feel about this video from SMOSH.

Obviously I don't agree with some of the concepts, but I get that they aren't real/true.

And some parts, I find pretty damn hilarious.

Did I want to be introduced to this video by my 11yr old?

Not necessarily.

Would I rather him say 'FIRETRUCK!', rather than the alternative, in those situations where, (in his 11yr old mind) he MUST utter a word with such power?


So next time you hear someone yell 'FIRETRUCK!' - Don't necessarily look for the smoke.

Instead, find the guy who just bit his tongue, while humming the latest
Jonas Brothers tune!

Yes, you'll have to watch the video to get that.


P.S. If you play that song more than once, it WILL stay in your head! Just sayin'.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Hello, Officer. Are You Looking For Me?

On Saturday, Alec and I were in the backyard, picking up 'stuff'.

He had played the second game of his basketball provincials that morning, and had another game that afternoon, so we were trying to tackle some of the 'winter mess' in the backyard in between.

We were over by the garage.

He was putting away the small items like hockey sticks and shovels, and I was gathering up small pieces of kindling that had fallen off the truck, when the wood had been delivered just before the first snowfall.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my next door neighbour coming across his lawn.

I straightened up, smiled and said 'Hi'.

He looked puzzled.

When he got within a few feet of me, he asked, 'What's with all the cops down there?'


Since I had no idea what he was talking about, I could only reply, 'What do you mean? All the cops down where?'

He pointed to the end of my driveway.

I turned, to find this ...

Oh ... but not one of them ...

TWO cars sitting there.

In front of my house.

Well now, I thought, isn't THAT interesting!

And with my armload of kindling, I proceeded down the driveway.

When I got to the end, one police officer was already walking slowing down the side of the road.

The other was standing by the car.

I approached her and the conversation went something like this ...

'Hello, Officer. Are you looking for me?'

'Am I looking for you?'

'Yeah ... are you looking for me'

'No, we're not here for you.'

I'll admit it. Even though I knew I had done nothing wrong, internally I let out a little FREAKIN' PHEW!!!!

She said it was nothing serious.

They were looking for a neighbour.

I lowered my voice, and asked her if I should take Alec inside ... (cause ya KNOW he followed me down there, to see what was going on!)

She didn't think so.

We headed back to the yard, finished picking up a few things, then went into the house.

By this time, they had entered and searched the house they were looking for, and we could see them marching our neighbour down the road.

Sure enough, he 'assumed the position' behind one of the cars.

It was at THIS point, I asked Adam if he wanted to see someone get arrested in front of our house?

He had been in his room this whole time, and had no idea of what was taking place out front.

That was probably a GOOD thing!

By the time we got back to the window, (Oh shut up! You would have watched from your window too!) Mr Neighbour was being cuffed and put into the back seat.

Then ... they sat there.

That's when Alec suggested, 'Hey, Mom! You should get the camera!'

Although I took a second to think about it, in the end I replied, 'No, it's probably not a good idea to take pictures of the neighbour getting arrested.'

So who runs for the camera instead?

My little paparazzi in the making!

The kid who thought it was pretty cool, seeing a bust in front of his house lol.

So long Officers!

Till next time!

Oh yes, between this and this and this ... there will most definitely be some sort of next time ...


Sunday, April 17, 2011

Smells GOOD Dudden' It?

Something happened the other day, that has caused me to realized something about myself.

Something I'm not necessarily proud of.

For all my talk of always trying to 'do the right thing', I realized after this particular incident that I can assess a situation, decide something about it is wrong, and STILL walk away without saying or doing something.

I suck.

On Friday, I ran to Giant Tiger at lunch.

This is my new favourite 'Mom Store'.

I got out of the car, and started walking to the entrance.

At the same time, a guy in his 20's (I'd say) was walking with his 2-3yr old daughter across the parking lot.

They got to the entrance before I did, and met up with a couple who had a child in a stroller (no idea how old this child was, as I didn't even really look INTO the stroller) and another woman was walking over to join the crew.

As I got closer, I smelled it.

They were smoke a joint.

Yes, I know they were smoking a joint and not a cigarette.

Weed has a very distinct smell to it, people!

It was definitely a joint. And they were smoking it ... at the freakin' FRONT DOOR!!!!

You had to walk right by them to get into the store.

Now, it's not the dope smoking I have a problem with.

At the risk of alienating the non-dope-smokers out there, I have to say that if someone wants to smoke a joint, (as opposed to having a drink perhaps!) at a party with other ADULTS, or in the privacy of their own locked bathroom home, after a long day at work, and they aren't hurting anyone ...

FILL YER BOOTS!!!!!!!!!!

However, this wasn't the case in this particular situation.

The problem I had with this situation, was that as I approached, the woman was speaking to the little girl who had just arrived with her dad.

The little one MUST have said something about the smell that was engulfing the group, because as I got up to them, the woman said 'Smells good, dudden' it? Smells GOOD, DUDDEN' IT?'

Huh? WHAT???

OK, smoking a joint in public is one thing.

Smoking it at the front entrance to a busy store, at LUNCHTIME, is just stupid.

Smoking a joint, IN FRONT OF YOUR KIDS, and telling them it smells GOOD, is .. is ...

OMIGOD! I just wanted to walk up to that chick and punch her in the face!

But I didn't.

I wanted to scream at them that they were idiots! Dirtbags!

But I didn't.

Instead, I paused, looked at them, then continued walking into the store.

I suck.

For all my talk of doing the right thing, I didn't.

I sized them up.

I really did.

I did a quick calculation of 'OK, four on one ... two of them are guys and the two chicks look like they could KNOCK OUT A GUY! What are my chances here ...'

Cause I may be opinionated, and mouthy (at times!) ... but I'm not stupid.

I knew if I said something to them, told them what I REALLY thought of what they were doing, most likely they'd have a reply for me.

Maybe 'mind your own f'in business!'.

Maybe more.

Did I want to take that chance?

Cause I knew ... once I opened my mouth, it would be GAME ON!

I didn't.

I wish I'd had the balls to say something, but I didn't.

And I've been kicking myself ever since.

I don't think I would have changed anything about the situation.

I think those kids will still be stuck in a room with their parents whenever they decide to get high.

I hope they won't repeat the same cycle with their own kids.

And I would have REALLY felt better if I'd said something.


Yeah. I suck.


Where's my bag of weed?!?!?!

Kidding, MOM!!!!