Sunday evening, after dinner, Adam announced he was going to Bob's* house for a sleepover.
I was OK with the spur of the moment-ness of it, because Bob* is a good friend who just lives 'down the road'.
Good kid, good family.
'See ya! Have fun at Bob's*!'
About an hour after he'd left, he called home.
'Mom? I just got a text message from Johnny*, and I'm scared.'
Immediately my Mom Senses were tingling.
I had already asked Johnny* to stop communicating with Adam, and the kid just wasn't getting the hint.
Adam had already removed him from Facebook. This was a message sent to his cell phone.
We hadn't figured out how to block text messages on the phone yet. We'd never had the need to.
Although Adam never answered them, Johnny* occasionally continued to send text messages along the, 'You there? I really need to talk to you', variety.
'What did he say this time?' I asked?
Adam lowered his voice and said, 'He said, 'See what you did? It's because of you I'm sitting here with three slits in my wrist!''
I stared into the fireplace for a second.
And blinked again.
Then I took a deep breath.
I thanked Adam for calling me, told him to not answer the message, go back to his evening with Bob*, have fun, and leave Johnny* to me.
After some reassurance that everything would be fine ... after all, he DID call Mom, and Mom handles everything ... right? ... he hung up.
So did I. Then, looked at the phone and thought, 'What the hell do I do NOW?'
I didn't know if this kid was serious, or simply trying to make Adam feel responsible for his bad choices, but I wasn't about to take any chances.
I had no idea if there was a boy sitting in a bedroom somewhere who needed help or not, and all I had to go on was a first and last name, a general location of a house, and a cell phone number.
How could I even track down his parents phone number with that info?
Come on Kim, figure out what to do, time's tickin'!!!
Last summer (late Aug), while visiting friends out of town, Adam made a new friend, Johnny*.
Johnny is a couple of years older, but I didn't have a problem with that, because Adam is a mature kid for his age when it comes to 'hangin' with the boys', after years of hanging around with his older brother and HIS friends.
I had asked my friend about his parents? Was he a 'good kid'? Did he come from a 'good family'?
It wouldn't matter who it was, boy/girl, older/younger ... I like to know who my kids are friends with, and what kind of kids they are.
She said she didn't know his mom, but knew his dad from way back, and he was a nice guy. No issues that she knew of other than they were divorced.
Obviously divorce is not a strike.
Welcome to the crew, Johnny*
Aside from the initial meeting, and one additional occasion Johnny* came to hang out for a few hours while we were visiting the same friends, their friendship continued only online.
Last month, Johnny* made a few comments that I considered 'over the line'.
I'm not going to get into details here. Those aren't important.
What is important, is to stress that through mutual agreement, Adam and I decided that the friendship, messages, etc. would not continue.
I will also say that my Mom Senses were telling me that Johnny* had issues, and although I certainly didn't think he was a bad kid, by ANY means, I did think he needed to talk to someone about his issues.
But, that person was NOT my 10yr old son.
Being a friend is one thing. Being made responsible for someone else's decisions, feelings, thoughts ... that's not a friendship.
And it's not the kind of pressure a 10yr old boy needs/deserves on his shoulders.
A friend wouldn't do that.
So, Johnny* was made aware the friendship would have to come to an end.
"I'm sitting here with three slits in my wrist!''
I did the only thing my conscience would let me do.
I called the RCMP.
I understood Johnny's* mother/father may not appreciate having the Police show up at their door, especially if it was a 'false alarm', but I was willing to take that chance.
You can't play around with crap like that.
And you can't cry wolf with THIS mama.
I wasn't sure exactly where he lived, but based on the info I had, they found him.
About an hour later, an officer called back and said Johnny* appeared fine physically.
After determining that fact, they sat him down, and had a long talk with both him and his mother.
I was very thankful for that.
And thankful for the callback, letting me know he was OK.
Although I may not want Adam to maintain a friendship with Johnny*, I certainly don't want to see anything happen to the boy either.
To me, that text message was a cry for help.
I hope it gets answered.
I know Johnny* isn't comfortable talking to his mom or dad, or other friends, or someone else he has there closer to him, and I'm sorry for that.
I know there are many others out there just like Johnny*.
He's NOT alone.
If Johnny* sees this, I'd like him (and all others who feel the need to talk to someone) to PLEASE call:
I can't say someone there CAN help, but I do know they've been listening to kids for over 20 years and they're better equipped at handling the confusing issues.
Better than my son is.
The calls are confidential, and can be made anonymously.
Most people I know, end their weekend on a quiet note.
In my Korner?
A quiet moment?
Round here, that's just another Sunday night ... callin' the cops!
Oh ... wait ... last time, it was Saturday night!
Talk to your kids, People!
Or better yet, LISTEN!
P.S. * Obviously Bob and Johnny are NOT their real names. m'kay? M'KAY!