WOW! My House Is Cleaner Than YOURS!

I remember a time when my house was actually clean.

I remember a time, before I was married, before the sources of my grey hair and stress, also known as 'The Kids' arrived, when I actually spent time cleaning my house.

It was never 'eat off the floor' clean like my mother's - I'm not THAT ambitious! - but it was tidy nonetheless.

Then I built a house that had more than one level.

Then I had those mess-makers, take stuff out and don't put away-ers ... yeah ... 'The Kids'.

I don't think my house has seen that same type of 'clean' since.

I don't have a cleaning lady. Not that I couldn't spend the - what ... $50 every two weeks? - to have someone come in to clean my house, but I don't want that.

Nobody else is going to be digging dirt out of my nooks and crannies except ME.

Or maybe the mess-makers. If there's money in it for them. The little money-sucking-mess-makers!

Most weekends, I'll let the boys have friends over. I'm just cool that way ;-)

However, when I'm on my cleaning warpath, and they ask for a friend over, I'll pull out the 'Mean Mom' card and say "Not a chance! I wouldn't invite anyone into this house with the rec-room looking like THAT!!!"

There are reasons I call it my (w)rec(ked) room ya know!

I've also warned them that one of these days, one of their friends is going to comment on the fact they are two of the top notch mess-makers in all of Canada!

Sure enough, that day arrived on Sat.

Not only was there one friend over. There were 3. So, yeah, five boys running around my house.

One kid makes his way down to the (w)rec(ked) room, and the next thing I hear is ... "WOW! My House Is Cleaner Than YOURS!"

Hmmmmm ... will his parents notice he's not here when they come to pick him up later? Will they have any idea my 'wadda ya mean I'm NOT Martha Stewart' instinct kicked in and I buried him somewhere in that (w)rec(ked) room?

He obviously missed the fact that:

We've had kittens take over our basement, who have been wreaking havoc down there for the last 6 weeks.

Five boys have just blown into the house from outside, spreading snowpants, jackets, hats, mitts, boots and snow from one end to the other.

I'm a single mom who works full time, and runs for the boys sports 3/5 nights throughout the week! I'm not HOME to clean!

Yeah ... so the rec room's messy. Ya caught me on a bad day kid!

Oh who the hell am I kidding ... EVERY day is a bad day when it comes to cleaning my house!

So keep that in mind if you're coming to visit ... or you'll end up buried in the basement, with the other smart mouth kids who comment on the cleanliness of my house!

K.