My life always seems to have a yin and yang to it.
When something good happens, something bad usually happens shortly after, and vice versa.
Karma just keeping all things even, I guess.
I had a great day yesterday! I got a new job!
That's what this next post was supposed to be about, but by the end of the day, things weren't so great, so I'm going to tell you about that instead, cause it has a moral to it.
I spent most of the evening online, chatting with friends and family about the new job. The boys had gone out to play some basketball, and when they got back, were hanging out in the rec room with friends.
Just a quiet Thursday night.
Until about 11pm, when they decided they were going to take the dog for a walk.
She was in my room, so I got up from the computer, and as I let her out, I leaned down to give her a rub, pushed the door shut again, and when I stood up, everything went black, and I thought, 'Oh ...shit...'.
And that's the last thing I remember, until I woke up flat on my back on my bedroom floor.
Yeah yeah yeah, I have penguins on my pjs! Keep reading!
And no, before you ask, I hadn't been drinking to celebrate the new job. That comes after the first paycheck.
I have mentioned the occasional 'black out' moments I've had before in THIS POST.
But I haven't had one of those in a very long time. And never one this bad.
Last night, it came out of nowhere.
I have no idea what happened from the time I stood up after petting the dog, until I came to, but this is the best I can piece it together.
When everything went black, I was standing next to the wall you see in the pic above, and I must have cracked my temple on the corner of it, knocked myself out cold, and went down with a bang.
I know about the bang because the boys told me this morning that they all heard it.
When I landed on the floor, I must have hit the back of my head on the bottom board of my bed, because I have a sore spot there today too.
I also must have landed weird on my leg, because today there is a bump and bruises and I can hardly walk on it.
I woke up flat on my back, glasses off my face and on the floor next to me, I thought my head was exploding and I had no idea what had happened or how I got there.
Or how long I'd been there.
That's a VERY scary feeling.
I honestly wasn't sure if I'd had an aneurysm or a stroke, or if I'd hit my head, it was hurting that bad.
I came to the conclusion that I'd cracked it, because of the bump on my temple that was quickly forming, and when I leaned my head against the wall this morning, in a reenactment for the boy, I can pinpoint exactly where my head first hit.
You know when things start to go black, and everything comes down to a small pinpoint in your vision? That's what it was like, in reverse, when I came to.
In the distance, I could hear the boy calling, 'Mom! Mom, we're leaving. Mom!'
That's what I heard when I came to, and everything was a pinpoint that just got larger until I realized where I was and instinctively yelled back weakly, 'Yeah, OK'.
And then I tried to move quickly before he heard something in my voice, and decided to come and check (not exactly a good position you want your kid to find you in).
Moving quickly wasn't such a good idea, I realized, when I immediately got dizzy and my head hit the floor again.
It took me a few minutes to get up and sit on the bed and process what had happened.
I was dizzy, confused and above all else, my head was killing me, but I managed to lean over, look over into the mirror, and smile. Big.
OK, good, I didn't feel right, but all the facial muscles were working, so I took that as a good sign that meant it wasn't a stroke.
We figure I was out about 5 minutes.
As i said, the boys all heard the bang (when I hit the floor), but didn't really think anything of it and they said it was at least 5 minutes between the time the dog came out, to when they finally left and called out for me.
They did find that strange, that I didn't answer them right away, but when I eventually called out 'Yeah, OK', they got their response, so went for the walk.
I didn't say anything to them about what had happened. I was still too shaken up myself, and didn't want to scare them.
In hindsight, that probably wasn't a smart move, because if my brain actually was exploding, and I simply didn't wake up in the morning, they would have no idea what had happened or when. Or why.
That's definitely one drawback to not having a spouse in the house. Someone you can tell things like this to when you're freaked out, and don't want to freak out your kids.
As exhausted as I was from not having slept well the night before, I purposely stayed up for another couple of hours.
I didn't want to go to sleep after all that, for fear I might not wake up.
Yeah, crazy I know, but when your head hurts so bad you can't see straight, all kinds of crazy thoughts go through it.
Today, I woke up early to a splitting headache, bumps and bruises on my leg and head, queasy, unsteady, and I honestly feel like I had the crap beat out of me.
Yes, I know, I probably have a concussion, given it's now afternon and I STILL have a headache, but I know even if I went to the doctor, the only thing they'd tell me to do is rest, and stay off the tv and computer.
Unless of course my brain is actually bleeding or something. Then they'd probably do something. ;-)
I know my limits, I know I'm not 100% right now, so I'm resting. Staying off the computer? Not so much, but I'm trying.
And if I'm still not feeling better by tomorrow, I will go see a doctor.
But I'll be damned if I'm missing that first shift at the new job on Sunday!
I'm not sharing this for the 'OMIGOD are you OK comments', or for the well wishes from friends and readers. I got loads of well wishes yesterday when I announced the new job. I already know my family and friends care and don't like to see me unwell.
I'm sharing as a reminder to others to not be like me, and TELL someone when crap like this happens immediately, because in the words of my boy, it would have been pretty messed up to walk into my room and find me dead, and have no idea what happened.
Extreme, yes. But you just never know with a head injury and blackouts.
Snow has started. We're supposed to have a storm today, so I'm OK with staying in the penguin pj's and resting in bed.
The boy is keeping an eye on me while the other is at work.
I also messaged a friend this morning and told her what happened, so there's another adult aware who can come over quickly if I happen to keel over on the kids in the next day or so.
A quiet day of yin so far, compared to the excitement of yesterday's yin/yang.
Note, I said so far ... it's still only mid-day.
K.
