Thought I'd share a personal little tidbit with you today :-) There are certain thoughts on different topics that I won't post online. Various aspects of my 'personal life' being one of them. And when I do post, I always try to do so from the perspective of 'would I want my kids to read this about me/their father/family 10-20yrs from now? ;-) But I don't think anything I've chosen to say today would shock them about their mother, and I thought it would give you a bit of further insight into my 'personality' if you haven't figured me out already ;-)
I stopped by the ex's this afternoon to drop off a few things for the boys and Belle (who are with him this weekend), and told him I had hoped his new live-in girlfriend was home ... who I officially met for the first time last night ... because I wanted her to come down the street with me to the Tim's for a coffee.
We haven't really been introduced, other than the quick 'Hi's' in the kitchen last night while dropping off the boys bag, and I think it's only fair that she and I get to have a one on one session. Not to bash the ex in any way. I'm a big girl, and I know that he's going to find someone, as am I at some point, and I don't need to bash him because she's going to determine what his good points, and bad are all on her own.
But if she's moving in, she's part of our lives now, and up until a couple of weeks ago, I didn't know about her, and saw her quickly for the first time last night, and so I think it's only fair, to both of us, for her to hear from me, not second hand through the ex, what my expectations are of his relationship with the boys, the ways I see it changing in the future and her involvement in all of it. Their lives are their lives and if he's found someone who will be good to him and the boys, as well as a good influence on them, GREAT! . But the boys are part of that life also, and my only 'expectation' of her specifically is that she be good/nice/responsible to them.
Also, there are certain 'hot' topics like child support and visitation, that I want her to hear my views on directly from ME, again, not second hand. She needs to know where I stand on both of these issues, and what my expectations have been and continue to be of the ex, directly from me. I don't ever plan on being the b*tchy ex-wife. But if this is going to be a long term relationship for him, which I have to assume since she's moved in, then I do plan on having his partner know exactly where I stand in this 'relationship' and what my expectations are. Period.
Life's too short to be playing games. We're all grown ups. I won't say we'll be the best of friends, or agree on fundamental issues of life, but we can certainly all get along and I expect it to start with all expectations laid out on the table. I'm also interested in hearing what her views on our new situation are :-)
Anyway, she wasn't home at the time. So I asked the ex to mention to her that I'd like she and I to go for a coffee ... and I'm curious to see if she's going to take me up on it .... ;-)
Have a great weekend all! I'm off to mow the lawn now ... or clean the kitchen .. I'll most likely decide which when I hit the top of the stairs and see the condition of both :-)
PS - I got my hair cut again last night ... it was much easier this time around ;-)
Saturday, June 16, 2007