Friday, August 10, 2012

When The Zombies Attack ... We're Goin' To Walmart!

I learned something new about my 16yr old while on vacation this week.

He is completely prepared (in theory), for a zombie apocalypse.

I'm not even sure how we got on the subject, but at one point, we were driving down the highway, when I turned to him and said, 'Ya know, if the zombies ever DO attack, I'll have to move a step down in the family chain of command, as you know a whole lot more about zombies than I do.'

He turned to me with complete confidence, and said in a firm, clear voice, 'Mom, if the zombies attack ... we're goin' to Walmart!'

I couldn't help myself.   The laughter would NOT be suppressed.

And then, of course, I asked, 'Walmart?  WHY Walmart?'

This time, he looked at me as if I should already know this crucial information.

'Because, it's got EVERYTHING you need!', and then it went something like ...

'Weapons!  First you go to the weapons and get a crossbow.  Gunfire attracts zombies, it's gotta be a crossbow. And right through the brain.'

Can you get a crossbow at Walmart?!?!?!??!

Then ...

'And, it has food!  And sports equipment to use for protection.  And paint to write SOS on the roof.  And electronics, and furniture, and appliances, entertainment, and ... and  ... and ... 

And the list went on and on, until he finally came to ... 'And clothes!  Clothes to change into, in case you run into a zombie in there and shit yourself!'

Well now, I guess he's pretty much thought of everything.

There are many strange things I believe in.  However, zombies aren't one of them. 

And while I don't ever expect to be living through, or at least trying to, a zombie apocalypse, if one ever DOES occur, and you noticed we've gone missing, I'll trust and follow my boy ...

... look for us at Walmart.

I'll be in Sporting Goods. The Mama with the baseball bat, and zombie stompin' attitude.

Bring it, Zombies!  Batter up! ;-)


1 comment:

Sue said...

Oh, he HAS thought of everything... I'm putting a bunch of clean undies in my zombie survival kit. Hahaha