Monday, July 13, 2009

Open Mouth ... Insert Foot. CRAP!

We were at the ball field a lot this weekend. Adam was in a tournament.

Our Community Centre (ball fields, lake, playground) is located about two minutes from our house, and we spend many hours there during the summer months.

Saturday evening, as I was driving into the parking lot, I passed a woman in another car who waved at me.

On quick glance, I thought it was one of the moms I recognized from the boy's school.

I got out of the car, and started talking to another Ball Mom, when the 'waver' got out of her car and I got a better look.

It WAS one of the moms from down at the school, but not the one I thought it was.

I did a double take.

It was the mom of a boy who was in Adam's class his first 2yrs of shcool.

I didn't recognize her because she had changed her hair.

The whole time I've known this woman, she's had naturally curly, curly, CURLY, wild hair.

Tonight, it was pin straight. It threw me off!

We started walking down to the ball field together. Making small chitchat.

Me: "I LOVE your hair!"

Her: "Oh thanks :-)"

We commented on the weather, the weekend, then I said ...

"So, is the straight hair a permanent change or something you were just trying out?"

She replied with, 'Actually, it's straight because I'm going through chemo. I wanted to wear a ball cap tonight and the hair came with the hat.'

I stopped walking. Stunned. That WASN'T the answer I was expecting.

Way to go Kim! Open mouth ... insert foot!


I know, I know, before you start saying, 'But you didn't know!', you're right, I didn't know. But it still made me feel like crap, knowing something I said had brought about her admission.

I've known this woman since Adam started school.

Our children have been at each other's houses to play.

Her news just floored me.

We've just been through this with Alec's friend's mom.

Now, here is one of Adam's friends, who has a mom going through it too.

I asked questions.

There isn't a guidebook on what questions you can and can't ask someone, who has just admitted to you that they're going through chemo to fight cancer.

Maybe I'm too forward, but I ask anyway.

When did she find out? How did she find out? Does the outcome look good? Are the boys OK?

I also offered my help.

I told her anytime she wanted a bit of R&R, to drop her boys off at our house.


People always seem to want to make food when someone is sick.

I didn't make that offer. I want to keep the woman healthy, not make her worse!

So, I told her, 'I'm not going to offer to make or bake you anything cause I can't cook for shit! BUT ... what I will do is tell you to bring those boys over anytime, and I mean ANYTIME, you want a bit of down time."

She appreciated that.

We chatted a bit more, then she went off down to the lake, and I went back to Adam's baseball game.

Life can be so unfair.

Sigh. And even though I know I didn't do anything wrong, I still feel like crap for opening my big mouth, yet again.



Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Actually sounds like you treated her like a normal person. She might just appreciate that. And I think asking questions, any questions is a good thing. If the person doesnt want to answer, they won't.

And your offer to kid sit? Sounds like a wonderful way to offer support.


Employee No. 3699 said...

I agree with Hallie. You treated her like you would have anyone else and I'm sure she appreciated that along with your offer to have her kids over.

Kim's Korner said...

Thanks much for the input ladies!