Monday, August 6, 2007

Everything Happens For a Reason ... Proven to me yet again

Hey all!

Hope everyone is having a wonderful Summer!

The boys and I returned home from a week's vacation at the beach around 6:30 pm tonight. I'm exhausted. We had a wonderful time! I'm burnt ... physically from the sun and mentally from the vacation lol, but overall it was great! It's an unbelievable feeling to wake up, open your door, walk out into the morning sun, stepping immediately into warm sand, and you're looking at nothing but miles of blue water :-)

After four days of playing with family at the beach, we headed to another relatives house to visit for few days. We arrived mid-evening, and after letting the boys and their cousins play for a couple of hours, while I caught up on the family news, they were definitely ready when I said it was time for bed. The grown-ups talked far too late into the night, and I was exhausted when I finally got my butt into bed.

The boys and I were sharing a room. Adam and I sleeping on the bottom bunk (double) and Alec on top bunk (single). As tired as I was, I figured (hoped) I'd just crash, and flipped through a People magazine while waiting for sleep. It didn't come. As badly as I wanted to, I couldn't fall asleep, and I couldn't figure out why. I should have. Four days of salt air, non stop 'family fun', going to a pub for a couple of drinks the night before we left, to get re-acquainted with my cousin who I hadn't seen since we were young children .... drive the next day, staying up far too late shooting the sh*t with my cousin, his wife and my aunt ... I SHOULD have crashed immediately! LOL I didn't. About half way through People, I found out why.

First, let me mention a couple of things ....

In the last few years, I have become a VERY SOUND sleeper. When I'm out, I'm out and it really takes alot to wake me up. So much so, that I slept through a hurricane we had here a few years ago LOL. The ex was out with the fire dept. My mom was visiting and she and the boys were watching the wind, rain and destruction, and aside from waking up for a few minutes, by the ex scaring the crap out of me, dressed in full fire gear telling me he was going out with 'the crew' in the storm ... I fell right back asleep, not realizing the severity of 'the storm', and slept through the whole thing LOL. So had I crashed on this particular night, as I had hoped to, what happened next may very well have had a completely different ending.

The other thing, is that Alec is prone to talking in his sleep. And walking on occasion. A couple of times, about 4 yrs ago, he came out onto the deck where the ex and I were sitting. He was sleepwalking. He'll also talk to you, somewhat coherently in this state as well, but not realize he's doing any of it. On occasion, he has night terrors. I installed a deadbolt at the top of the front door LOL. No really ... I did :-) He's since stopped walking, and haven't had the need for the extra lock for some time, but still talks at least a couple of nights a week. More so when he's tired as most of us do. Myself included :-)

So I'm laying there, and after a good 40 minutes of unsuccessfully willing sleep to just finally take over, and getting rather bored reading about Paris, Lindsay and Brittney's latest 'escapades', Alec started moaning loudly and his right hand gripped the side of the bunk railing. I put the magazine down and immediately the mother's instinct started kicking in and for some reason, all senses were on full alert ... the next thing I knew, he's sitting up, and screaming 'I want to go home, I want to go home, I want to go home !!!' Over and over. All in his sleep.

Thankfully I was sleeping on the outside of the bed. I threw the People, and jumped up just in time to catch him flinging himself headfirst over the railing. He was sound asleep. Alec's a good sized boy. Weighs more than I do. Not a whole lot. But more nonetheless. Dead weight asleep. He had both hands, white knuckled gripping the railing, his eyes were open wide and staring at me, screaming, and I had both hands on his chest, feet spread apart, bracing myself against him, trying to hold him back from throwing himself over headfirst. All the while saying "Alec hon, you're ok, you're in bed, wake up, you're ok, etc.' And all the while, he's pushing against me trying to get over the railing.

Then, the mom's eye in the back of my head catches Adam running across the room with the blanket over his head LOL. I wasn't sure if he was awake or asleep himself, so I just turned my head around and told him "It's ok bud, Alec's just having a bad dream, hang on, stay right there for a minute.' Then I turned my attention back to Alec who was still yelling/mumbling.

When I looked at him and said his name, his eyes focused and he screamed again LOL. I told him he was just having a bad dream, talked to him for a bit, and then he was calm ... wondering what was going on. It all happened and was over in a matter of minutes. Once he was 'awake' I had him get down from the bunk, and we put the mattress on the floor. Then I tucked all three of us back in bed, and kept a light hand on each boy's shoulder ... just in case :-)

Once I was settled in again, it hit me. Had I not been awake, wishing I was asleep, he would have been a dead-weight head first on a free fall, and god only knows what he would have broken when he hit that floor, if he didn't break something hitting the dresser first on the way down, depending on how he fell ... and I wouldn't have heard a thing, until it was too late.

My thoughts went back to how I had desperately wanted to go to sleep, I was CRAVING my sleep, but 'something' wouldn't let me slip into that blissful state of unconsciousness ... why?

After we moved the mattress onto the floor, and got Alec was settled and sound asleep again, I lay there for another half hour or so, thinking of all the possibilities ... of what 'could' have happened. What if'ing it to death, 'what if he'd cracked his head', 'what if he broke his neck' 'what if ... what if' ... but every few seconds, the same thought kept coming to mind ... 'don't question it, you were awake, everything happens for a reason'. So I shut off the 'what ifs' as best I could and focused instead on saying 'Thanks Fates!' and the plans for the following day.

Yup, everything happens for a reason. I can honestly say that was the last thought that drifted through my head that night, when I finally fell asleep :-)

And now ... I'm off to hit the sack and get some sleep again :-)

Night all!


No comments: