Saturday, August 29, 2009

Plenty of Fish? More Like Lots Of Seaweed!

Last night I hit the road for a 'Girls Night Out' with Cass.

No, there are no karaoke videos for you today ;-)

After our 'Sip & Bitch' session (coffee in the kitchen) we decided to head out to one of the clubs that had a Country band playing.

We had no interest in singing last night. Just shaking our Groove Thang.

We don't often go out to the bars in her town, because it's a small town, where everybody knows everybody, and people like to 'talk'.

But, we hadn't been to this place in over a year, figured there might be a 'good crowd' last night because the Exhibition was wrapping up, and most likely there would be people going out afterwards.

So, since nobody likes to go to a dead bar to shake their groove thang, we gave it a shot.

Got to the bar, grabbed a drink and table and surveyed the scene.

First thing Cass said was "That's weird, I don't know anyone here tonight!"

Remember, small town. That should have been our first clue that something was 'off'.

After a few minutes, she leaned over and said "What a strange mix of people here tonight!"

And it was.

A mix of old and young. But mostly 'older'.

Which is cool. Just strange for this particular bar.

Once the band started up after intermission, the dance floor was PACKED.

Another oddity.

Now, when Cass and I go out to a bar, we get looked at. And hit on. And asked to dance.

I don't say that to sound conceited, it just happens.

Something about the combination of the tall brunette and short blond get us stared at.

We're always polite, and sometimes we'll even dance with the strangers, but we have NO INTEREST in 'picking up'.

None. Nada. Zilch.

We're there for the music, and to dance.

Sometimes with those who ask, but mostly just with each other.

Cause we LOVE to dance!

So, last night being no different than any other, we felt 'the eyes' on us.

Checking us out.

And I have to admit, I always find that a bit uncomfortable, because as I said, we're not there to pick up.

But last night, for some reason, that feeling of being on display was even stronger.

I had just finished saying to her how good I thought the band was, and turned around to find some guy kneeling next to my chair.

Scared the crap out of me, because I didn't even hear him come up.

Great! We'd only been there maybe 15 minutes and it was starting.

The conversation went something like this...

Guy: Hi

Me: Hi

Guy: The band is pretty good aren't they?

Me: YES. They really are.

Guy: Are you from around here?

Me, pointing to Cass: She is, but I'm not.

Guy: Are you here for the Plenty of Fish thing?

OMIGOD!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not what I said to him, but what went screaming through my brain.

Plenty of Fish is an online dating site! I had heard about it. Had seen it.

OMIGOD!!!! These people were going to think we were here looking for FISH!!!!

To him I said, "Uh .... no. We just happened to come here. Had no idea. Is THAT what's going on here tonight?"

Guy: "Yeah, I came up from Halifax with my buddy to check it out. So you're not here for that?"

Me: "Um. No."


Guy: "Do you mind if I sit down while I wait for my friend?"

Thinking ... thinking ... thinking ... how do I say No and still be polite?

Me: "Uh ... sorry, we just stopped in for a minute and will be leaving soon."

OK, crappy answer I know, but I didn't want him sitting with us.

I wasn't casting my net for any fish, thanks.

Then I did my 'Smile, and turn away so he knows you're not interested' move.

That did it. He moved on.

I turned to Cass, grabbed her arm and said "HOLY SHIT! This is a Plenty of Fish gathering here tonight!"

I could see she didn't know what I was talking about.

"Plenty of Fish! The DATING site! All these people are out FISHING!"

Her eyes got huge! "NO!"

I replied with, "Oh yeah, Baby!"

She said, "No wonder it feels so weird in here tonight!"

Then she looked down at her shirt and said "AW SHIT!"

Here she had walked into the online dating scene gathering, in a red t-shirt, with screaming white block letters that said "CRAZY BUT FUN!"

How's THAT for a walking billboard for the little fishies!

At that point, I was wishing I had a big sign to hold over my head ...


We then decided we'd be finishing our drinks and getting the hell of out dodge.

We had seen enough. Heard enough.

At one point, she leaned over and said "Well, there ya go, this just goes to show you what you're ACTUALLY communicating with online. Nice catches huh?"

She wasn't saying that to be mean. There was just NOBODY there that either of us would have been interested in.


And yes, I'm being totally superficial, because that comment was based on looks alone. No conversation.

But come on, people, it's usually someones 'look' that attracts you to them first.

And as far as we were concerned, there was NOTHING to look at!

I'm a chair dancer. If the music is good, you'll usually find me grooving in my seat if not on the dance floor. The down side of that, is that it gives off the impression that you want to dance, when sometimes you'd rather not.

Because the music was awesome, I turned to her and said "This is killing me! I LOVE that song, but don't want to move at all, not even a toe tap! I don't want to encourage the fishes to swim over!"

She was doing the same. Holding herself in place in her chair.

I told her, 'You realize, if anyone else comes over, I'm telling them 'Sorry, I'm sleeping with the band. Or better yet, I'm with HER!'

She was OK with that. As I know she'd say the same thing if the situations were reversed.

Someone else DID come over. Someone she knew. We made him sit with us until we left.

Let the others think that this buddy had cast his net, and caught both of us.

He had no idea it was Plenty of Fish night either. Had just stopped by on a fluke and walked into it.

At one point, he leaned over and asked me, "So what do you think? Plenty of fish?"

To which I immediately answered "Fish? More like just lots of SEAWEED!!!!"

We stayed long enough for Cass to have another drink, (since I was driving I had only had half of one) and then we hightailed it outta there!

I'm sure for those that were there specifically for the event, nets were cast and fish were caught.

Seeing the couple standing two feet away from our table, driving their tongues down each others throat was evidence of that.

But for us, there were no nets cast, no fish caught.

We simply tread lightly through the seaweed, and got the hell outta there.

Cause although I may be single, and there may have been Plenty of Fish ...

I'm a computer geek ... NOT a Fisherman.


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