Shot Of Vodka Before Homeroom, Anyone?

Yesterday, the Guidance Counselor at my son’s school made me cry.

Not ‘can’t catch your breath sobbing’ kind of cry, but oh yeah, there were a few tears.


Just after 10am, I received a phone call at work.

It seems someone gave my son a water bottle, filled with a substance they said was Chocolate Milk.

It was his friends who gave it to him. And it wasn’t chocolate milk. It was a Vodka Mudshake.

The phone call was from the Guidance Counselor, informing me that my 13yr old kid had his first taste of alcohol … at school.

That’s not what made me cry.


Some time yesterday morning, three girls came up to my son at his locker, gave him one of the school water bottles, and told him 'Here! Have some! It’s chocolate milk.'

He looked from one to the other of the girls, and they were all nodding encouragement, ‘Go ahead, it’s just chocolate milk.’

Let me point out that these three girls are his friends. Not bullies, not someone who cornered him and said ‘drink this or else!’ …. His FRIENDS.

He took the first gulp, and had the second in his mouth when he realized what he was drinking was most definitely NOT chocolate milk!

That’s when the girls revealed what was truly in the bottle.


Alec went to his next class extremely upset. Not only was he bothered that he'd been tricked, he knew what they had done was wrong.

He knows the rules on alcohol and drugs. Very simple. DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH THEM! Period.

And you know what? He’s a good kid. Alcohol, smoking and drugs aren’t his thing.

For today, I can say he’s on the right path. I’d like him to stay there.


Now, we were all teenagers once. I’m not naive enough to think he’s not going to have his first drink before he’s 19 (legal age in Canada).

I know in the years to come, there will be parties, and there will most likely be alcohol at some of these parties.

But we’re not there yet.

And we’re not talking a party … we’re talking 9am, on a Tuesday morning, AT SCHOOL!!!


The whole incident really upset Alec.

So much so, he and one of his his best friends asked their teacher for a private conference in the hallway.

At the risk of getting himself in trouble with his friends, he informed the teacher of what had happened.

Then, he was sent down to the Guidance Counselor to repeat the tale.

Let me be clear that if anyone else was involved, they weren't mentioned. Alec described only his own experience.

And, not only was he worried about being in trouble with his friends AND the school, he was also concerned *I* was going to be mad at him for what happened.

Shortly after he explained the situation to the counselor, I received the phone call.


The counselor gave me the details of the incident and told me in no uncertain terms that my son had ABSOLUTELY done the right thing by saying something, and he was most definitely NOT in trouble.

He then proceeded to go on … and on, about what a ‘good kid’ my boy is. How in this particular situation, he had made the right choice.

And how much of a support he was to one of his best Buds last year, when he lost his mom.

THAT’S what brought the tears.


I know I have a good kid. I like to think others see it in him as well.

But, having a school official make it crystal clear (again), how well respected and liked my son is by the faculty … on top of the disturbing news I’d just been given, yeah, THAT made the ‘ol eyes a bit misty.


I was asked to come down to the school to pick Alec up.

He wasn’t feeling well and was still upset by the morning’s events. For a variety of reasons.


I can’t tell you the range of emotions I experienced on the 25 min drive from work to his school.


First and foremost, I was PISSED!!!!

Pissed that his friends had given him alcohol. And LIED to him about it!

Pissed that a small portion of his innocence was taken away without his consent.

Pissed that because of THEIR actions, he felt he had to choose between his friends, and what was 'right', and risk their wrath.


I was also Relieved! Relieved that it was ONLY a Mudshake, and that there hadn’t been anything else more toxic ‘slipped’ in there.


And PROUD. So damn proud of my boy.


Proud that he didn't say 'WOOHOO! THANKS!' and chug what was left in the bottle.

Proud that he would risk the friendship of these girls, and to a certain degree, the rest of his inner circle, to do what was right.

I'm sure they meant him no harm. That the whole thing was most likely a cool stunt, just a ‘big joke’ as far as they were concerned.

But Alec wasn’t laughing.

Neither am I.

And neither, I suspect, are the girls anymore, after receiving a reprimand from the school.


I know one of the girls, in particular, reads this blog.

And Missy*, for the record, I really hope you know how disappointed I am in you.

I certainly expected MORE from one of my kid’s FRIENDS.

I like my son's friends. There is a large group, and I have known most of them for years. Good kids.

Who sometimes make bad choices.


I know I can’t protect and shelter my kid from every bad choice or influence he’s going to come across. Especially now that he’s a teenager.

He's going to make many bad choices of his own over the next few years.

He has to live his own life, learn his own lessons.

Yesterday’s lesson was ‘Never take anything … ANYTHING from anyone, if you aren’t 100% sure you know what it is’.

I have to let him discover that things … and people aren’t always what they seem.


And now, we move on.

Simply treat yesterday as the learning experience it was, and start a new day with a new outlook.

So, as I headed out this morning, I gave him a quick hug, kiss on the cheek, told him to have a good day at school, then tossed over my shoulder on the way out the door ...

“ … and lay off the Booze today would ya!” ;-)


That brought about a shocked ‘MOM!!!!!' and more importantly … a smile.

Mission accomplished ;-)

K

P.S * No, Missy is not her real name.