Four Boys In A Kitchen

Since there was no school today, because of Remembrance Day, Alec asked if he could have a sleepover last night.

I said yes.

Last night I had four boys in my rec-room, watching Monday Night RAW.

This morning, after breakfast, they were all outside playing some version of dodge ball on the trampoline.

Just before 11am, I called them into the house.

I turned up the radio.

No sooner was the last one in and the door shut, than the Remembrance Day Music started.

They stopped where they were.

Four heads bowed.

After the music, there was the moment of silence. Out of respect for those who never made it home. For those who fought, so four boys could spend a morning, playing a version of dodge ball on a trampoline.

Four boys in a kitchen, heads bowed, tongues silent. Not fidgeting.

Showing respect.

And actually understanding, on some level, WHY they were doing so.

I was very proud at that moment. To be a free Canadian. And of the boys.

At that particular moment ... mostly of the boys.

Take a moment to remember.

K

Where the Heck Did YOU Come From?

Although my posts aren't flooded with comments, (THANKS to those that do!) this blog is actually read by people! All over the world!

My StatCounter tells me so! ;-)

I know I have my faithful readers in 'real life' friends and family. I have 'online friends' who read as well. I know there are also lurkers out there, who keep coming back to hear of our latest adventures or my latest rant.

To them, I have to say Thank You!

Although I do this blogging thing for myself, and for the boys (these entries will eventually be put in a book for each of them), it's still kind of nice knowing that others out there enjoy reading about our adventures too.

I also find it interesting to see how people end up stumbling into my Korner, so I periodically check the stats and ask myself...

Where the Heck Did YOU Come From?

Undoubtedly, the most searched for item that has people dropping by the Korner is ...

Stuart and Doreen Larkin from MADtv

For some reason, there's a lot of people looking for Stuart! For the past couple of months, searches for his image on google have been sending a lot people to my post Stuart! Tales From The Road III. People like Stuart! He's definitely my 'Most Read' post LOL.



Batista
Mmmmm ... Batista. Yeah, LOTS of searches for Batista, Batista Bomb, Batista haircut and even John Cena & The Rock have brought many people here - Batista Encouraging Summer Reading! And Haircuts?

But surprisingly, not so much here - Batista Sweat On Me!!! I find that surprising since they both contain 'Batista' in the title.

Guess people just aren't as interested in his sweat as Adam was lol.

Dead things on the doorstep
Animals around the globe are dropping their offerings of death on their owners doorsteps. Others wanted to see how *I* handled receiving this 'Love you Mama!' gift from Puss in Dead Things On My Doorstep.


The Word Dank
Guess I wasn't the only one needing clarification on whether or not it was a word ;-) A search for the word Dank, has brought many other questioning minds to the post Dank. Yes, it's a word. Dank.


Death Sucks
Apparently many people agree with me and have searched for those exact words. They have also asked the great google gods, What's the Big Cosmic Point?

I know death sucks. Been through the roller coaster of emotions HERE , HERE and of course there's always a part of me that's still Missin' My Dad.


Those are the Top 5 searches that bring strangers to my Korner.

Some of the more entertaining ones?

Sugarland Ay Bum Bum
This person needs to be entered at KissThisGuy.com! It's right up there with Scrape Up Some Money ... And Buy A Ham!

Hopefully they found what they were looking for when they actually landed on Calling All Music Experts! I Have A Challenge For YOU!


Icing Sandwiches?
You mean somebody else actually made one of these?!?!?! The Icing Sandwich

Swingtown Pot Brownies?

Were they looking for a recipe? I did discuss Swingin' into Swingtown but sorry, no recipes or pics of threesomes provided ;-)

Duct Tape Boob Torture

OUCH! Why? 'Nuff said!

Unless of course they were going through the same thing I was in Happy Birthday! Please Place Boob Here ...... Many people have also found this post by doing random 'boob' searches lol.


I Said I Didn't Hit A Deer, Then Remembered I Did
Um. Buddy. You'd better hope that the police aren't reading this. I'd hate to be requested to provide your IP address. Next time, get your story straight, so you won't end up on other people's blogs who are talking about how I saw a Hypnotist yesterday and I hit a Deer today.


Picture of Burned Balls.
Do you REALLY want to see something like this? Not sure what kind of balls this person was searching for, but I was talking about Adam's EYEBALLS and how he should Cover Those Balls Before They Burn!

Surprisingly, multiple searches for 'sunburned eyeballs' have brought people here too. Guess it's more common than I thought!


Dog staring at wall - this showed up multiple times, in various forms.
I thought mine was the only dog that experienced this phenomena?

Of course Hershey only managed to destroy the wall after staring at it ONCE, but once was enough for me to write about it, and have people with similar experiences ending up at The Dog lost his mind yesterday .... and it hasn't returned yet!

You're straight, you're here you're not going anywhere. You're straight, you're here you're not going anywhere. You're straight, you're here you're not going anywhere.
Um ... yeah ... OK. You just stay right where you are. I can see though why they were brought to You're Not Going Anywhere without THAT! - The Concert that ROCKED and SUCKED! Part III

However YOU got here, thanks for stopping by, and I hope you find your way back into the Korner sometime soon!

K

An Open Letter to Assholes Everywhere

Hey! You! Asshole in the little yellow VW Bug that parks in front of me and leaves me 1/2 an inch to squeeze out from behind you. Yeah, YOU!

Is it really that hard to give someone a little space?!?! It's called respect for other drivers Buddy! Learn it. Live it.

Or parallel park your little ray of sunshine on another street. Cause next time I need to get out, I'm gonna drive over that little piece of sh*t in my Mom-mobile and squish you like the Bug you are!

Hey! You! Asshole who doesn't know how to use a MERGE lane. Yeah, YOU!

I know it's probably been a few years since you've had to write your drivers exam, but really ... the rules haven't changed ... MERGE does NOT mean attempt to plow into the side of the car next to you, so you can be that 1/2 second ahead in the traffic jam. Back the f*ck off!!!! One for one Buddy ... it's a concept, LEARN IT!

Hey! You! Ball hog on the basketball team. Yeah, YOU! (OK, so I have a hard time calling a teenager Asshole)

Other kids want to play too. Other kids want to make 'the shot' too. You're not the only player on the team ... stop playing like you are! Passing the ball. Try it sometime!

Hey! You! Asshole with 20 items in the '10 Items or Less' xpress checkout. Yeah, YOU!

You really bug me. Know that? Why do you feel you've been given special permission to not only cut in front of others CLEARLY on their way to the same lineup, but to hold up said lineup for the rest of us, cause you needed extra crap today and now you've got to get out ... FAST! Use one of the other lanes Einstein ... oh ... wait ... Einstein could count ...

Hey! You! Asshole who asks for my Name and Address every time I want to purchase pre-paid phone minutes. Yeah, YOU!

Why the hell do you want - or better yet - NEED this freakin' information? I'm buying phone minutes. Not applying for a car loan. You don't need my name. You don't need my address or phone number. STOP ASKING ME!!!! It's none of your business!!! If I want you to find me, I'll give you my CELL number. That's 1-800-Not-Your-Business!

Hey! You! Drunk Asshole who tried to pick me up at the end of the night. Yeah, YOU!

What part exactly, had you confused that I wasn't interested? The fact I kept walking away from you, or the fact I finally ran away to hide in the bathroom until you were gone? When a girl scrunches up her nose like she smells something really bad when you approach her ... it's probably a good sign she is NOT interested in making small talk when the lights come on at 2am! Go find Drunk Assholette and talk to HER instead!

BTW ... do you drive a yellow VW Bug?!?!?!?

Hey! You! Asshole who charges the elevator before the doors are even finished opening! Yeah, You!

Why do you feel the need to rush the elevator? Is there someone chasing you? You can't wait the two seconds for the people who are on there to GET OFF first? It's called being POLITE! You should really give it a try sometime, instead of running people over to get to whatever important place you're going to!

And may an elevator door rip your arm off!

HEY! You! Asshole at McDonald's and Subway who organizes the veggie placement. Yeah, YOU!

Is it really that hard to keep the onions AWAY from the lettuce when you're making my food? I can't tell you how many times I've taken that first bite of my McChicken or Sub and got a big mouthful of ONIONS. Not a good thing for someone who HATES onions! Just ask my mother!

I'm not expecting a hot meal ... or god forbid even a good one ... just keep the freakin' onions OFF my food!

HEY! You! Asshole who orders sandwiches and toasted bagels in the drive-thru lineup. Yeah, You!

If you're getting something other than coffee/tea/muffin ... get out of your freakin' vehicle and GO IN THE STORE!!! You're holding up the line for the 12 cars behind you who ONLY want a coffee/something quick! Consideration. Maybe you can order some with your next cuppa Joe?

Hey! You! Asshole Co-workers! Yeah, You!

Nah ... just kiddin' ... I like 'em, and you'd never read it here if I didn't! ;-p

Hey! You! Asshole who left the bread on the counter all day and it ended up getting hard and going bad! Yeah, YOU!

Oh ... wait ... that was me.

Ahhhh blogging. Cheaper than therapy, and doesn't require police intervention.

K.

No Dress-Up For You!

Halloween.

Treats. Ghosts. Tricks. Costumes. More treats ;-)

These are the things that instantly come to mind when I think 'Halloween'.

Every year in school we had our annual Halloween party. People brought treats, we dressed up in our costumes, played music & games, and had a party.

My boys have had these each year also. They've brought their costumes to school, usually along with a kitty litter cake I'd made the night before, and had their party.






Until this year.

They still had their parties. Alec had the option of bringing his costume, and did not. Too 'cool' for that this year ya see. Being in Jr High and all.

Last week, I received a notice home from Adam's teacher regarding the party. NO COSTUMES ALLOWED. There would be a class party, but no dressing up.

Instead, they were asked to pick a favourite teddy hear, and use their imagination to dress THEM in costume. It was also stressed that these costumes had to be 'home made' and not of the 'Build A Bear' variety.

I'm not quite sure why they were not allowed to dress up. Perhaps costumes are being ruined, lost or stolen at school? Perhaps the teachers are trying to keep the 'my costume is better/cooler/more expensive than yours!' down to a minimum in the elementary classes?

Who knows.

I was a little sad for him.

I remember how much fun it was to bring the costume to school, and dress up with all your friends. It was a great opportunity to see what everyone was wearing. Even those who you wouldn't necessarily see when you were out trick or treating.

Adam was disappointed too, but what can ya do?

You find a bear, use the imagination and come up with THIS creation to bring in to the Halloween Party!


A platinum haired, super caped in the latest towel fashion, ninja turtle masked, bling and WWE belt wearin', chain saw totin' BAD BEAR DUDE!



No dress-up for you kid ... but the Bear is good to go!



Hope everyone had a Happy Halloween!



K.

This Family Friendly Blog Is Rated 'R'

Alright, all of my kid's friends, their teachers, my co-workers, family members and any religious fanatics who stubmle into my Korner ... STOP reading this blog NOW!

I've been rated!

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Dating Site - No I wasn't cruising the dating site, just wanted the rating!

I received this 'R' rating, because I've used the words

ass (4x)
dead (3x)
fart (2x)
death (1x)

Ok, ass I can understand. Sort of. But ...

FART?!?!?! You get an 'R' rating for the word FART these days?!?!?! Gee ... I'd try and clean it up by referring to it as ... anus airing ... but I find that word 'anus' just too damned creepy!

So much for my 'Family Friendly' blog! Go figure! Those people who created the 'rating system' are just a bunch of ... of .... Fartheads!!!

Fart - fart - FART!

There! I feel better :-)

Now stop reading this R rated trash and go out and play!

Have a great weekend all!

K.

Gee ... I Wish She Was MY Mom! NOT!

The ex told me a very disturbing story on Sunday. Then he showed me the video.

Apparently a 31yr old mother drove her 12yr old daughter to a park, so the daughter could (attempt to) kick another 13yr old girl's butt.

Why? 'because she was talkin' stuff', according to the daughter.

Once it looked like the 13yr old was winning the fight, she was dragged by her hair off the daughter, BY THE GIRL'S MOM!!!!

Who knew it was a Mother & Daughter Tag Team Match!

Mom is now up for Mother Of The Year on charges.

See for yourself ...




Ya know, I'll be the first to admit that if anyone tried to seriously harm my child, I'd have to rip them apart. It's just a mother's instinct to do so.

Forget Basic Instinct. Mother's Instinct is the High Priestess of ALL instinct ;-)

Having said that, I couldn't imagine driving my child to a fistfight!

To the mall, a school dance, a friend's house sure, but an organized fistfight? And then to watch? What the hell was this Mother thinking?!?!?!

What were all the OTHER people who were standing around WATCHING thinking?

Of course I wouldn't want to stand by and see my kid getting the shit kicked out of them, but ... HELLO ... D'oh-Hole ... Mama DROVE her there to get (give) the kickin'!

If I happened upon my kids like this fighting, yes, I'd like to think I'd be able to break it up, but NOT like this!

Unfortunately, this isn't the first time something like this has happened.

In 2005, a 26yr old mom boarded a school bus, daughters in tow, and insisted her 9yr old daughter assault her 10yr old bully. To 'take care of her business'.

You can view that video, if you wish, HERE.

In 2007, she was convicted. Mom sentenced to year in jail for role in bus fight.

And we wonder 'what's wrong with kids today?!'

Yeah. I wonder.

Maybe cause Mama's up on charges for beating up your classmates?!?!?

Gee ... wish she was MY Mom! NOT!!!!

As a side note, I'd like to thank my own Mother for being the wonderful human being that she is. For being a 'perfectly normal' Mom who gave me her love, attention, and a damn fine childhood. Waited patiently for me to stop being a b*tch through my teenage years, and became my friend as an adult.

And Thanks Mom, for not beating up my classmates.

K.

Scrape Up Some Money ... And Buy A Ham

S'cuse me, while I kiss this guy!

There's a bathroom on the right

The ants are my friends, they're blowin' in the wind

And now we can add to that ... Scrape up some money, and buy a ham.

Did you know there are multiple websites dedicated to Commonly Misheard/Sung Song Lyrics?

Of course there are!

Brad Paisly and Keith Urban have a new song out that has been getting alot of play on the radio lately, Start A Band.







One part of the chours says:
When you’re living in a world that you don’t understand
Find a few good buddies, start a band

The other night, it was on while we were driving and after that particular part Alec asked, "Mom, what's he saying in that last line?"

I said, "Find a few good buddies, start a band. Why?"

"Ohhhh OK! I thought he said 'Scrape up some money, and buy a HAM!!!'"

I had a sudden mental image of Brad and Keith onstage, rockin' out to 'Scrape up some money, and buy a HAM'

Yeah. I lost it. Why do I always have these moments when I'm DRIVING?!?!?!

K.

Oh, and feel free to leave a comment as to what you think the REAL lyrics are, for the first three commonly misheard ones at the top of the post.